Video: A 30-year-old CAN go to prom

Well, only if they chaperon of course, or are part of the school staff. It’s obviously creepy otherwise! But there is something called a “second chance prom” where a person can have a kind of do-over of that irreversible special night of our adolescence. I had the pleasure of attending one myself last week. Check it out.

My speed-dating experience…CAUGHT ON CAMERA!

So as promised, here is the link to my speed-dating video.

The ridiculousness irony of speed-dating: You have nearly five minutes to make a connection with a stranger but SOOO much can come out of that little time. It’s genius really. But kind of tough too.

Last week Hurry Date was a real gem and let me check out the art that is speed-dating at Lower Greenville’s Stout. I met up with some great guys. They seemed to dig me…

But as is the world of dating, when I took my little scorecard home of my “yes” and “no” matches to plug into the Hurry Date online matching system, only three matched equally with me. I suppose that’s not bad considering that I kind of said yes to most of the guys just to throw my coin in the “eh, you never know” fountain. I’ve contacted one. Haven’t really heard from him yet. Maybe it’s because he didn’t like my wrinkled dress. But it’s early still. I’ll keep you posted.One thing is for sure though. There is no accounting for taste in the jungle that is finding a mate. While taking a little restroom break after my dates, I heard other female daters responses. Let’s just say they weren’t going home with a scorecard full of little circles around their “Y” responses. As me and the team’s assistant editor left the speed-dating establishment, it was those same girls chatting it up with some really unaware guys!Got any ideas for me to survive Valentine’s Day??

Dating — on speed

What does a video camera, a guy who doesn’t know about chemistry and Kermit the Frog have in common? They were all part of my exciting speed dating experiment last night at Stout on Lower Greenville in Dallas — courtesy of Hurry Date.

I walked into the bar a little apprehensive but curious. My ssistant editor came out with me to document my speed-dating process. Which was pretty funny considering that while we were waiting for everything to start, about two random Hurry-Daters came over and hit on her big time. Let’s just say she wasn’t all that flattered. She quickly switched one of her rings from the right hand to the left ring-finger to ward off any evil spirits…

When the time came that I got to sit down with these guys, one guy in particular stood out like a sore thumb. He was also one of the guys eyeing Aly like fresh meat on a slab from a far. I won’t go into detail but he was, well, let’s just say interesting. When he asked me what I looked for right away in a connection with a guy, I said something along the lines of “chemistry.”

“What really is chemistry, anyway?” He seemed to ask in a possibly innocent attempt to sound prolific. Hum…I’ll just leave it at that…

During this process everyone is marked with a number they put on their name tags. And you also have a “scorecard.” This is basically where you check “Y” for yes and “N” for no in accordance to the numbers. And during this process of getting to know these guys in all of nearly five-minutes a piece, I start to lose my already failing voice. I must have sounded like across between Kathleen Turner and Kermit the Frog…

At the end of the night, I took my little scorecard and filled out all my “yes” and “no” responses to each guy on Hurry Date’s matching system. You have to wait 24 hours to see who also said yes to you. Seven hours and counting…

I would get into more detail here, but you will just have to wait until the “results show” as they say in reality television lingo and stay tuned to the upcoming video of this loveless “Eligible Editor.”

*insert pity-party inspired long, drawn out sigh here*

Ah, I can just smell the humiliation…

In two short hours I will be on several speed dates. I can thank the folks over at Hurry Date for this opportunity. Because in my line of work self-deprecation means good ratings, we are going to shoot video of my experience in a very tongue-in-cheek and hopefully entertaining way. Stay tuned over the coming days and I’ll post the link here. In the meantime though, since this will be a “documentary” (more like my own mockumentary), I really hope that the guys I will be chatting with won’t feel like it’s all a game. Because you know, in the end, I wouldn’t mind if someone slipped me their business card…and MEAN it. *glances over at stack of useless business cards from strange men*

My trust meter is broken

After all my efforts with actually trying to land a mate, wouldn’t it just be such a shame for me to lose an opportunity because I’m afraid to trust the motives of someone interested? That’s where I am today.

I have no idea how to fall into something with possibilities and just, well, BE. I seem to find myself wondering, second-guessing, and anticipating the shoe to drop. Depending on your beliefs, we technically only have one physical life. I don’t want to live it never trusting again.
It really isn’t the bitterness of past failed serious relationships that is my problem anymore. There was most assuredly a time when I didn’t necessarily hate men, but more to the point — I tried very hard to keep a thinly veiled guard up. I was always waiting for when they would hurt me. For five years I just stopped believing.

Now the issue here is trusting if whether or not advances, interests and a man’s attention are genuine. I believe it’s an enormous waste of effort, time and yes, even money, if in the end I sabotage things before they have begun! I don’t fear commitment for what it implies. I just fear the possibility of a let-down. More to the point — a devastation. Jumping in with both feet and eyes semi-closed is new to me. I think the girl, that girl in her early 20s, was quite good at that. Too good. And now that she has reached nearly 30, putting her big toe in the water is how she would rather start.

But that isn’t entirely true. Online dating to me is a risk. Joining groups of people you have never met is a risk. Even striking up a conversation with a stranger is a risk. Those are all things I’ve done in the past month. Maybe not a big deal. But to me it’s bigger than what I had been doing for the past year I just obessessed about work and getting me together. To me that’s a full plunge.

However why is it that I’ve dived in full on, but can’t mentally get past dipping my big toe in the uncharted waters of an actual possibility?

Match found…

Seeing those words in the subject line of my email used to give me a little bit of excitement. I would quickly head on over to see who this mystery guy might be. Now I yawn and say, “These four months can’t end quick enough” and check my account every other day instead of instantly. In the long line of new things I’m trying this year to get back into the dating world, online dating sites are unfortunately on my list. Right now they are kind of on another list that rhymes with quit.

If you check the comments of people on this blog, you will see a few of them credit eHarmony for finding their “special someone.” One of which claims to not be a plant for the popular online dating site.

There are other things that go along with your subscription — the repeat emails. They all seem to say the same thing: Stick this out and we promise you a husband. The buggers lure you with their uplifting speech. They make it all sound like you aren’t making a monetary mistake going with them instead of the other guys. Stuff like this:

Dear Jenice,

Your eHarmony experience is important to us. It’s also important that you understand how eHarmony works and why our process has helped so many people.

If you don’t have a match at this point in your eHarmony membership, this is because we haven’t yet found someone who is a terrific fit for you. But take heart: our system is always automatically searching for matches for you, and over 10,000 people are joining eHarmony each day.

I’m so glad they told me that. Now all of a sudden I have “hope.”

Meeting new people can sometimes take risks…

This will be a quick update.

I’ve never done the whole “meetup” thing before. It always seemed kind of risky just to join a group of folks you have never met and then join them in events. But I’m quite glad I did. Last night’s pajama party was a blast. Not many guys though. And the one everyone was drooling over had his eyes on one girl in particular. 

I didn’t wear pjs. I donned sweats and my favorite Mavericks T-shirt from a recent game. I now have a nickname from it. I think I like Maverick better than my childhood nickname of Squeaky… Overall: Best $17 I’ve ever spent — had to bring some libations.

So Larry, a frequent reader here, asked for photos…

I don’t think so sir! You will just have to believe, but really, it wasn’t as risque as it sounded. Except for the question game which included a very naughty question from me that asked, “What can you do with silly string?” Ahaha. 

Anyway, no one was half nude.

Trying something new in pajamas

My first meet-up event is this weekend. It’s a co-ed pajama party. “What?!” you might say? Yep. A co-ed pajama party but I’m very sure it’s not as kinky as it sounds. And it isn’t an over-nighter unless people get too bombed to drive home. It really seems like this group of single women in Dallas have a great rapport with one another and are career-minded, smart and witty. I’m looking forward to it because I can only hope the same type of guys hang around them — I hope anyway. Either way, it will be a way to meet new people.

As life trudges along friendships fade away, people move away and people get married away. Every so often it is good to put yourself out there and see what new faces you can place in your life. I’ll keep you posted…

Complain and you sometimes receive

I called the online dating gods this morning and they ended up giving me another month free because I’m kind of disappointed so far. They actually have 24-hour service. Go figure. I guess they have to spend time talking people of ledges or something. I’ve always been a little impatient but that’s no excuse for what that service has scrounged up for me since signing up! So far I’ve received matches who decided that taking a picture with shorts on and no shirt, spread out all Farrah Fawcett style on their couch was a good idea. Some photos look like they were discovered in a pile of rubble that was the early disco era. Some just say silly things like, “I can’t live without my television.” And one guy said, “I’d rather not say,” when he closed me as a match. Hey. I’m cute! Right? Gee whiz.

The military guy on eHarmony pretty much shut me out even though he initiated the communication. I noticed after I answered his questions and sent him my own, he kept updating his profile but never answered my questions. How rude! So I decided to close the match. C’est la vie. I’ll live because he’s down in San Diego anyway and I wasn’t all that interested. Just wanted to broaden my horizons.

 

This will be a year of experimenting. I’ve joined a few groups from Meetup.com: A single chick one, a poetry one and museum one. There are several events going on from each of them this month. I’ll keep you updated as well as post stories and/or photos from each event. They are spread out all over the metroplex and I feel like exploring. I will also take on speed dating on Jan. 23. There should be a video of it too so you can laugh at/with me while I put myself out there.

My “ah geez” moment…

I’m glad I didn’t swear on a stack of Bibles. Wait. I’m agnostic anyway…

What I’m getting at is that I thought I would NEVER pay to play. But I promised myself that this year, after a few months of self-reflection, it’s time to get back into the game. I was very naive to think that just going along in my daily life something would just happen. I did that for half a decade. Though I know that people meet by chance all the time, I’m just not finding myself in situations that it can logically happen. I mean half of my days are spent behind a desk surrounded by women and married men. The other half out in the community I cover and not taking time to really see what’s around me. A little of it spent at a bar or two. Nothing stellar there.

when you least expect it…

Bullshit. That’s not a bitter bullshit coming out of my typing fingers. That’s more like I’ve-fallen-for-this-line-for-five-years bullshit. I think you have to stir up the pot and see what shakes out. This time I’ve decided even though I hate every minute of it, I’m going through with this experiment: Three months each with dating sites, getting together in a few meet-ups and doing a little speed dating. I need a little more spice in my life even if it’s nasty old spice. Gives me something to jot down. And maybe I’ll get some good (safe) nookie in the process. We’ll see…

I’ve dated myself enough. Pampered myself enough. Finally know who I am. Isn’t it time to add another centered person in my life? Or at least someone to buy the popcorn at the movies.

Now that’s adding insult to injury…

OK. So I’ve got like three lists going on my online dating profile. One is for all the so called matches, the other is for those I’m currently communicating with but the other one is a list of people either I’ve rejected or have rejected me!

The added “bonus” is that you get to send a “final message” which is to me an even bigger act of desperation than well…being there in the first place! Why would I want to keep a file of people that I don’t and they don’t want to talk to? And I’ve looked to see if you can delete this silly little list and you can’t. It just sits there. It mocks you. It sticks its tongue out at you and says, “Nanny nanny boo boo.”

Here are the “final message” options you can send…

• I have now posted my photo and when it is approved it should be available to you.
• I have completed all my Match Profile questions.
• Good luck with your search.
• I really felt that we had potential. I’d like you to reconsider.
• I think if we met, you might have different feelings about who I am.

Don’t they just scream, “Wait! Wait! I really am a worth while person!” It’s all so funny. I’m reminded of those little notes you passed in school that asked, “Do you like me? Check yes or no.” Only back then you did it for free. Maybe I wouldn’t even be here if my grandmother hadn’t gotten into the act. And it doesn’t hurt that my best friend may very well be the last of a long line of folks in my life on their way to the alter. I’m feelin’ the heat. I’m 30. Wasn’t I already supposed to have been divorced by now?

Does entrepreneur mean “unemployed?”

So it’s day two of my officially being a member of eHarmony, against my “better” judgement. So far my matches have come from mostly California. Is that a sign? Do I need to just move to land a man? Anyway, if you are unfamiliar with the eHarmony process, there is this “guided communication” they put you through. It’s like eight steps or something. The first step is sending these five preset questions that you pick. They have multiple choice answers or the match can decide to write their own answer.

I’ve connected with one guy who is a local at least. It says he’s an entrepreneur. I’ve heard time and time again when someone says they are self-employed or an entrepreneur it means they are truly unemployed. Is that true? So I picked a question about work for him to answer. I’m not sure I was convinced by the response that he is currently working. Could this be my problem all along? That I’m too picky? Me? Nah.

Then there is a solider in San Diego. He has a photo up of himself in Iraq. Hey ladies out there with soldier boys: Do I want to strike up a long distance gig with a guy who may deploy in a month? This is really hard.