I’ve grown in a different way since deciding that single was an alright place to be. Not just taking on the thought process but actually praying about it. And yes, I said prayer.
In the past this blog wasn’t a big place of spiritual conversation. And I’m not one to force my thoughts of the spiritual or even religious realm of ideas on people but I would be remiss if I didn’t share my view today of the non-secular single. I don’t mean the Christian view. You know, the promise rings? Or the vow of celibicay to God. No, I just mean piece of mind, balance and ridding sexual thought.
What drives a lot of singles dealing with, well, being single is sex. I’m sorry, was that too blunt? It’s true though. There’s always that “chance” that sex can turn into more. That’s one thought many people have but don’t want to admit. Then there is the primal feelings you have…the ones that say if I don’t have the cow at home, I can keep going out to get the milk. And you can get a lot more than you were shopping for in that scenario that you can’t put back on the shelf!
I would challenge that every single person who isn’t practicing truthfulness about this stop and take a moment to just be without. Experience it for a while and see how you feel afterward. A non-secular view of being single to me is one that doesn’t paint a picture of “having to have” in every sense of that phrase. The secular thought of relationships is that we “have to have” them. Society tells us that a man and a woman must be together (or man and man, woman and woman…I don’t judge)…whether married or not. I’m not saying that it’s wrong, just that if you are currently single and looking, stop and decide why you are looking.
The worst part of dating sometimes is the labels society throws on you. The cougar. The older man. The skirt-chaser. The craddle-robber. The chubby-chaser. Ah and my favorite: just plain old desperate. You get put into a box. You end up like Courtney Cox and David Arquette. Erase the secular and look toward the spiritual of the union. Why it’s there. The heart of it and not the glam or the hole you think it feels.
And if you are happily single, view it with the eyes of non-secular ideas. Again, this doesn’t always mean to think about it religiously. It just means that hormones are not who you are completely. That need to feel like you belong with everyone else who is dating or married or in long-term relationships is not who you are completely either. There is a place inside of you that has an identity apart from all this noise. Focus on it and tune in.
promise rings are very memorable to me because i gave a promise ring to my girlfriend who became my wife after a year ~
you can buy some promise rings from ebay but those are the cheap ones, the quality ones are sold elswhere -~;
Good point. I was just thinking about this today.. I’m glad I read this. So many of my friends have been in LTRs and I haven’t even passed half a year in one. On occasion, I wonder if I’ve got issues.. but most times being single is amazing. No need to answer to anyone.
I’ve been dating online but I haven’t joined any online dating site. I only use ymessenger and trying to reach anyone I could meet along the way. The disadvantage is I met those people who were very rude and all they want is’cyber sex’. Very digusting coz I’m conservative and I really don’t like men like this.