i'm single. so what?

Archive for 2009

Single and sober…

In bars, blogging, busy, dating yourself, im single so what, life, observations, parties, people, singles, sober, thoughts on September 3, 2009 at 7:26 am

When you are young and single…and you aren’t exactly a shrinking violet, the No. 1 thing you do is go to a very SOCIAL situation that usually has booze. And by social situation I mean bar.

The bar is the main locale for: engagement parties, birthdays, receptions, etc. It’s hard to avoid. But when you are me, (no longer drinking) these social scenes become hard. Seems like when I drank, everything seemed fun. Now if I spend an hour sober somewhere booze-infused, I’m pretty bored. In that hour I realize people aren’t talking about anything that interests me. And I notice that people do some pretty hilarious stuff they won’t remember the next day.

It’s like watching a mirror you don’t really own anymore. You know what you are looking at but now it’s like, I don’t know, no longer your view. This makes it tough to be youngish and single when even your married friends (when they can finally break free) want to hit a happy hour.

Also, if you are not looking to stay single, people who hit on you in these situations are kind of a drag. You are  left wondering: Hum, do they want my mind or are they wearing beer goggles or their heart in their pants? So you leave an hour later. And then you sit on your back porch or deck and ponder. Or maybe that’s just me.

When you work as much as I do, now almost five years at the same company while working to grow my photography biz, you don’t have time for the more meaningful connections as much as you would like. Happy hours and weekend gatherings surrounded by alcohol are pretty much your mainstay options if you want to stay in the loop.

So this is where I ask you the question: What do you do when you are single and sober?

So here we are again…

In ambition, aspirations, blogging, busy, challenge, goals, how to, im single so what, inspiration on August 5, 2009 at 10:32 am

So it’s been a very long time.

A lot of things have happened since I started this blog and I’m not really sure where to start.

Just a few things that are of note:

1.) Rediscovered my spirituality. I recommend it.

2.) Got involved with a few non-profits, hosting a benefit.

3.) Decided to bury the hatchet and go ahead and accept the friend request my recent ex sent me on Facebook.

4.) Re-focused efforts on my photography and Web site.

5.) Work, work, work…

If you are ever sitting there and find yourself afraid of being alone…

If you ever feel like you can’t live a full life without another person in it…

Figure out what makes you shine. And do it.

Staying busy keeps you from thinking…

In bitching, busy, career, dating yourself, life on March 7, 2009 at 5:46 am

Mainly about how you aren’t really dating anymore.

Maryann leaves BaltAmour

In BaltAmour, Baltimore Sun, Maryann James, bloggers, blogs, career on January 29, 2009 at 5:18 am
Maryann James

Maryann James

I think I ran into Maryann James’ “BaltAmour” blog over at the Baltimore Sun about a year ago. She was refreshing to read. And at times she actually gave me a few shout-outs and mentioned a few of my posts. Some of my readers  even read her stuff. In fact I remember Greg over at Dissonance saying Maryann had a great name for her blog — BaltAmour. Quite clever.

But I’m sad to say that I read today that Maryann is leaving her blog and in fact no one will be replacing her.  Having a lot more to do these days at the Sun ( in these crazy media times of uncertainty, I bet she does), Maryann has left the building. And having found love herself, I can only imagine that this exit is a little bittersweet.

Read her farewell here. I hope it stays up a while longer.

I wish her all the best…

My best friend’s wedding

In being single, changes, confessions, firsts, friendships, how did we get here?, marriage, observations, questions, relationships, risk, single, society on January 29, 2009 at 4:59 am

I wasn’t there for it.
Actually it was really a Justice of the Peace thing and she plans to have a real ceremony sometime later in the year. I really hope she does because I feel like a rite of passage has now come and gone without my witnessing it. The day we both thought I would see first — marriage. It’s a rite of passage not because of her being a new bride but because the two of us, now in our third decade of life, had a pact to be there for one another for things such as this.

I wanted to be there for her. But I couldn’t. She lives a few states away and our schedules are impossible. It’s weird considering her a wife now. It was also weird at first seeing her as a mother but when she had her son I saw she was born to be one. Now that she has added wife to her title, that’s one that will take some adjusting. I remember all our talks about marriage, dating…how men “just didn’t get it.”

Now she’s wed. And she is the last of my close friends to take this leap. I wish her well but wonder how long it will take before it might just bother me — being the last. Maybe it already does? Maybe it doesn’t matter. I can keep up the most brave face I can possibly muster, and convince myself that I’m still OK with being single. But I waver. I am also just human.