I’m not playing the jilted gal role to the fullest *insert sarcasm.* I figured some guidance was in order to further my process. And we all know that we must learn from those who have gone to battle for you in order to gain more knowledge and a thicker skin. And of course be more prepared for the pitfalls life has in store. So here you go, folks. My how-tos on getting over someone – fast.
- Blog. Blog. And then when you are done blogging, blog more. Sometimes some really great people have nice things to say about what you have written. And you get the occasional funny advice from the peanut gallery.
- Become a regular over in the meetup scene. I was a naysayer at first, but so far the events have been a load of fun, I get to meet new people who make me laugh and I found myself smiling more. Plus your social calendar is ALWAYS full.
- Be a class act about the rejection. That doesn’t mean that you can’t dish how you REALLY feel over at your personal blog, but just be sure any emails or texts are seething with very matter-of-fact realization that you know it’s over and you will live another day. (Addendum: However, don’t be surprised if the counter reaction from your ex is twice as impersonal than the one you sent.)
- Make sure you put everything in a box and let them know they will be receiving all their stuff in the mail. Don’t wait longer than a week to do it. Follow through is important here. It’s a cleansing folks. But make sure to sell ANYTHING you really can’t use or doesn’t fit that they bought you. However, keep photos…memories tucked away in a box in the garage can be endearing or at least worth pulling out to laugh later which brings me to No. 5.
- Make sure you are a real cheeky git and put a photo in the box you are mailing off of the two of you together with a note like, “thought you might still want this” or “this is how I always remeber us.” You may not really mean it (and they may think you have lost it), but if you know your mate is a real masturbater, it will just make you feel good knowing that your face will still be there until someone else wants to bother coming along, and putting up with their crap. Or at the very least, you laugh to yourself that he/she will worry that you may stalk them.
- Be confident at work about the breakup. Attention cubicle dwellers: It is nearly impossible to cover up a breakup in your office environment. Just suck it up and make sure you let your coworkers know that she/he smelled like pee or something silly so everyone laughs it off and goes back to typing.
- Get on myspace for grins. Myspace is killer for grins especially if you have some funny people on your list who have something fun to say. OK. Just swallow that pride. Myspace has it’s benefits.
- TAKE LOTS OF PHOTOS OF YOURSELF. Especially if you are feeling extra cute that day. Every moment you embrace your greatness, is yet another moment you forget that not-so great moment when you decided to let your guard down.
- Spend more time with your pet and your garden. Yea. This sounds cheesy but nine times out of ten both got kind of neglected if you were busy wasting your time with the wrong guy/girl. They will thank you for it — especially your bitchy cat who didn’t like him/her in the first place.
- Clean up your place: This means linens, throw pillows — anything that has your ex’s leftover scent. Wouldn’t hurt to spray a little disinfectant on everything as well. Throw everything you can in the wash.
And there you have it. If you have done these ten things, within about two weeks of the break, you will probably forget your ex’s name. Or at the very least, better your life.
Tags: LOL cats
Make sure you put everything in a box and let them know they will be receiving all their stuff in the mail. Don’t wait longer than a week to do it. Follow through is important here. It’s a cleansing folks. But make sure to sell ANYTHING you really can’t use or doesn’t fit that they bought you. However, keep photos…memories tucked away in a box in the garage can be endearing or at least worth pulling out to laugh later which brings me to No. 5.
will the above really help you to forget ur ex?
i sincerely disagree with ur point of view,but u do have ur rights to express ur’s.
my idea would simply be; to carry on with ur life and be the best u can.simple
Despite flash, males are simple creatures, Females evolve slower, but it’s because they’re more complex.
Researchers find that males can respond quicker than females to sexual selection, resulting in glitzier garbs like the male peacock’s tail feather, which outshows any drab peahen.
The secret to why male organisms evolve faster than their female counterparts comes down to this: Males are simple creatures.
In nearly all species, males seem to ramp up glitzier garbs, more graceful dance moves and more melodic warbles in a never-ending vie to woo the best mates. Called sexual selection, the result is typically a showy male and a plain-Jane female. Evolution speeds along in the males compared to females.
The idea that males evolve more quickly than females has been around since 19th century biologist Charles Darwin observed the majesty of a peacock’s tail feather in comparison with those of the drab peahen.
How and why males exist in evolutionary overdrive despite carrying essentially the same genes as females has long puzzled scientists.
New research on fruit flies, detailed online last week in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, finds males have fewer genetic obstacles to prevent them from responding quickly to selection pressures in their environments.
“It’s because males are simpler,” said lead author Marta Wayne, a zoologist at the University of Florida in Gainesville. “The mode of inheritance in males involves simpler genetic architecture that does not include as many interactions between genes as could be involved in female inheritance.”
The finding could also shed light on why diseases show up differently in men and women.
Complicated chromosomes
Wayne and her colleagues examined more than 8,500 genes shared by both sexes of the fruit fly Drosophila melanogaster. Of those genes, about 7,600 have different expressions (alleles) that do different jobs in males and females.
The flies were identical genetically, except for their sex chromosomes.
In flies and humans, thousands of genes made up of DNA are packaged into tiny units called chromosomes. Each parent contributes one set of 23 chromosomes to offspring, resulting in little ones with 23 father-given chromosomes and 23 mother-chromosomes — 46 total. One pair of these is called the sex chromosome. In this case, the females have two X chromosomes (XX) and males, XY. Many genes are found on the X chromosome, whereas few are associated with the Y chromosome. For female fruit flies, the X-chromosome genes can come in two flavors called alleles that not only interact with each other but also with other genes.
For instance, if one allele is dominant over the other, that allele would get “expressed” while the recessive allele would stay hidden. Though under cover, the recessive allele kind of hitches a ride on the X chromosome and can be passed on to future generations.
Genetic simpletons
That’s not the case with males.
“We find direct evidence that the expression of the genes on the X has this covering behavior in females whereas in males they’re out in the open,” said study team member Lauren McIntyre, also of UF.
Males only have one X chromosome, so what you see is what you get. If that particular gene gives the male a boost in terms of sexual selection, say a gene responsible for fluffier feathers, the gene would be selected for in the game of natural selection over successive generations. But if the gene is no good for males, it would get selected against over time
“Having one X means your genes are more open to selection in males,” UF researcher Marina Telonis-Scott said in a telephone interview. “So in a female if you have a recessive allele that confers a sickness, it can be concealed within the two X’s but if you’ve only got one, such as the male, you’re more open to selection.”
And the reason males are genetic simpletons, it turns out, is sex. The researchers suggest this uncomplicated (compared with females) genetic pathway allows males to respond at the drop of a hat to the pressures of sexual selection. That way they can win females, produce more offspring and start the cycle over again.
While not as prominent a trend, they also found a similar pattern in so-called autosomal genes, which are those found on any chromosome save the sex chromosomes. Many of the fruit-fly autosomal genes, however, did work in concert with genes located on the X chromosome.
Human implications
The “elephant lurking in these results,” of course, is how they would apply to men and women.
The researchers caution the results don’t directly translate to humans. “The X function is thought to be quite different in flies than humans,” McIntyre told LiveScience. In humans, one of the X chromosomes gets inactivated in females, though research is finding this inactivation isn’t always absolute.
However, the results could help explain differences in symptoms and responses to diseases in men and women, the authors say. Sexual selection does occur in humans, they note. In addition, fruit flies and humans share an evolutionary history, the authors point out, which is the reason why we share more than 65 percent of our genes with the tiny insects.
“If we see a mechanism in flies it may also be true in everything that shares that evolutionary history,” McIntyre said.
On a basic level, the genetic machinery works in a similar manner in flies and us.
“There’s a health aspect in figuring out differences in gene expression between the sexes,” Wayne said. “To make a male or a female, even in a fly, it’s all about turning things on — either in different places or different amounts or at different times — because we all basically have the same starting set of genes.”
Ok. Thanks for the science lesson here, efx. I am not sure I agree. Even when you bring in stats, but I am happy you came by and shared. Males ARE simple. But that isn’t a good thing. They are simple to the point of not being able to even relate to them which can make them very complicated. And I’ve dated (and recently dated) very complicated men. Also I have heard more so that women mature faster than men. Look that up. That is a more common point. I see what you are trying to say here, but it’s kind of a reach. That is of course my opinion, whether or not you really care or wanted it.
As for moving on. Yes. The box symbolizes a lot. I’m not sure if you are male or female. But being female and told I evolve slower, the box is as SIMPLE as it gets for me. He would like his stuff back and I would like it gone. But keeping some of the memories in photos I will never trash. Why would I? I’m not a heartless, non-feeling harpy! I’m already on the mend without denial. So yes. I’m quite fine with that box!
Great blog! Glad i discovered it! Google will take you anywhere. LOL! I love your outlook on being single and being FINE with it. I don’t have anyone to get over, but those tips are still good for remaining active and focusing on self while being single.
Guess I found a new daily blog to read.
Drop by http://www.singleinla.today.com sometime.
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Coming late to the party as I usually do, I thought you were still happily ensconced in a relationship…I’m really sorry it didn’t work out.
Even though I know you’ve learned to embrace your single status, it’s still hurtful when someone you’ve grown close to pulls away.
I like your post-breakup tips, especially 5. (right on!) and 9. (pets and gardening are both so relaxing, and pets are proven to lower your blood pressure).
I hope you bounce back quickly. It sounds like you’re already three-quarters of the way there!
They are already working, Elise. I really am over it. Just still a little miffed he didn’t even bother to end it properly…just stopped calling. What an ass. But I’m much better off now.
so many great points in this article i am so glad that i read it!