Don’t date single mothers. Don’t spend more than 40 bucks on a date or better yet — find a way not to spend anything at all. Don’t get married. These are all common demands that spew from the highly-popular radio talk show host Tom Leykis. And obviously I listen because that is why I know he says these things on a daily basis. There is no denying listening to this man is like trying to turn away from a pink elephant prancing down the street which is so ridiculous that you can’t help but find yourself laughing. It doesn’t happen all the time, but he has some fairly provocative points somewhere in all of his muck which sometimes I’m ashamed that I agree with to a degree.I also listen because I want a better pulse on what the average guy is thinking and what they are doing when it comes to relationships.
If the reality is anything like the advice of Leykis, good luck. Admittedly this guy has been divorced so many times he almost rivals Elizabeth Taylor. And he makes no qualms that his seven figure paycheck keeps him plenty happy without the trappings of a woman wanting a relationship. But his male listeners are followers and because of his popularity, you may very well find yourself being a victim of the sheer a-woman-is-nothing-more-than-a-way-to-get-my-kicks mentality. I think we all want to believe we have grown from the caveman mindset. Maybe we have since 1950 but if we don’t look out, these types of stereotypes of women will grow. And many times it is other women who ruin it for the next chick.
What I mean is you don’t have to be that girl who HAS to buy the most expensive meal on the menu on a first date. That demands to be showered in gifts and/or money. Who expects a man to bring home his paycheck without sharing in generating the household income. All of that seems pretty cliche, but these simple things are why Leykis has a successful bit on his show. Obviously I don’t credit Leykis for the downfall of the sanctity of serious relationships or marriage, but these ideas solidify why many men may believe they should not “waste” time becoming involved in anything more than a few romps in the hay. Don’t believe me? Just check the record numbers of single people in America. I’m not saying failed relationships fall on the shoulders of the man only. But what I am asking is are we as humans really evaluating the situation without playing into stereotypes and fears?
Women who expect to be taken care of in every way challenge things for women who aren’t like that. And although I’m not downing women who live this way and I realize there is an exception to everything, I still feel that there is misinformation spreading out there that women who want marriage are just ready to take everything a man is worth when the marriage falls apart. Or just can’t wait to get pregnant just to collect child support or trap a guy into marriage. Again these two scenarios are the main platforms of Leykis’ show.
I know this is what the guy gets paid for and his show is highly-rated for a reason so he must be relating to way more than a handful of men out there (his main demographic). You really should plug into the show one night and listen to caller after caller spitting out their disrespect of women. There really is something wrong with the world when a seemingly average guy can become a millionaire from painting the picture of the average woman as a vulture. How did we get here?
I think his following may be strong because of the women who act like they ant it both ways. The want to be “treated as equals” and yet they also want to be taken care of by men.
You can’t have it both ways.
Leykis’ teachings do resonate with a lot of men. However, men who aren’t exposed to the likes of Leykis or who don’t really think through everything are not likely to live consistently by his principles, for various reasons.
Many men these days were raised by their mothers, and even then they were in daycare or school or with a female relative much of the day. Schools, from the early years through universities are geared towards the sensitivities and styles of females. Also, much of the media men are exposed to tells men to be the nice guy, the knight in shining armor who rescues women in distress, but do it in a way that still respects her power and independence. In other words, be there for her, pay her way, but don’t expect her to defer to you or respect you.
Leykis is very logical and realistic to the world that exists today – the world created by feminists and the sexual revolution (and apparently, the men in control in the past allowed things to get this way). However, for it to “work”, you have to accept some of his basic starting points, such as: 1) There is no God to whom we are accountable for what we do with our bodies and/or fornication is not wrong; 2) I don’t want children; 3) I want to live alone; 4) For men, the benefits of marriage are outweighed by the risks and negatives; 5) Abortion is okay and in many cases is the right thing to do; 6) Using a condom reduces the risks of negative consequences to an acceptable level; 7) Casual fornication with many young, attractive partners provides greater sexual fulfillment than other situations, or at least the savings of time, money, freedom, energy, and emotion make it preferable; 8) Saving and investing and having friends is more likely to ensure I’ll have what I need in the future than getting married and having children. Stuff like that.
Many of those I disagree with, so I’m not a practicing “student”. But many men these days, if they really consider what Leykis has to say, will find themselves agreeing with him.
The rules have changed over the years for women. It is impossible to change the rules for them and not have an effect on men as well. We have made children more of a liability than an asset. Men now compete with women in the workplace, and it is harder for men to get established and build a nest. Many women are having sex with men they’ve barely met and are not shamed by anyone. Community property, no-fault divorce, high divorce rates, custody realities, domestic violence realities, and the expectation that men should fulfill all of their traditional roles plus more while women should be free to do whatever they like at the moment all make marriage and fatherhood a losing deal for men.
Women now have more choices, which is good. But that also means that men now have more choices, too. The hedonistic men and women should not mix with the marriage-and-family-minded men and women. Nobody should try playing both sides of the fence. Figure out which side of the fence you want to be on, and go with it. If we stick to that, more people will be happy.
Above all, Leykis is an entertainer there to sell ads. He is very experienced, has a call screener, has thought through his arguments over and over again, and has control of a mic. So, winning an argument with him is very difficult. Even if someone does, he can retreat to “That hasn’t been my experience.” How can you argue with experience? I suppose you can say “You just haven’t found the right woman yet.” But the right woman to someone like him doesn’t exist, because she would have to cease aging, and she can’t give him variety.
I agree with Jenice. It’s a myth that women want everything and that men are doing more than women due to NEW roles. It’s just that men aren’t used to being expected to have a balanced role and are looking at the “good old” days as though they were good for them. (mostly it was, but that’s because being served hand and foot while only being expected to achieve in ONE area is pretty cushy, compared to what women were expected to do on a daily basis in the last few hundreds years. and a LOT of men these days don’t even know that that lifestyle dictated by the gender divide was only available to certain cultures, races, and classes, historically speaking, and that most of them have NO right to expect it now.). But the effects of privilege are not all positive. Men have been taught that the ways in which it hurts them are unimportant or don’t exist. I think as a result, many have nothing to compare their “normal” emotional state to it to until they ARE in a long-term relationship and then it seems harder than it is because it’s different and confusing. (as a woman who’s good at it, I’m speaking. I have mostly been vilified for not inacting stereotypical hysteria and jealousy because men are taught that those are signs of female reliability and emotional investment, not just hysteria and jealously. they use it as proof that I’m just using them or a jerk, etc. with nastier implications, of course.)
Most women don’t want what men think they want, but men (in particular) have trouble bothering to find out because they can’t let themselves be vulnerable to someone they’re already cast as a ballbreaker or a superwoman simply for not having the same level of insecurities on display. Men, you need to realize that no matter what, socially you are still cast as the one in control, and women are punished (much like in the above rhetoric) for initiating or setting non-sexual boundaries. If you want a certain type of relationship, you have to ask for it or look for it where it may be found. And deal with your insecurities yourself instead of expecting strangers to compensate for them preemptively just because they’re female.
If there’s anything that is detrimental about the “gender role” revolution its that self-esteem and communication is being marketed solely to women as desireable and necessary and that as a result, men are still free to blame women for falling behind even though it’s sexism that’s causing the divide. It’s a nasty, one-sided feedback loop, as far as I’m concerned.
I tend to disagree with the overt women bashing but his wisdom on marriage and men needing to be much more careful with it are spot on. No guy is going to think totally like every other guy but I recently watched a friend of mine have his life destroyed by his wife who left him in a lurch and is screwing him on alimony, pretty much forever. I have always wanted to meet the right girl and get married, raised by a single mom so it is something I always gravitated towards but watching my friends life get destroyed by a woman who cheated on him opened my eyes to reality.
While it remains dangerous for men to get married then the smart ones won’t, at least not without spending a great deal of money to safeguard themselves. What idiot would sign up for a system that fails nearly sixty percent of the time (and the failure is initiated by women around 77% of the time, by the way)? That is just basic risk analysis. Female privilege in the courts ensures that a woman can cheat on a guy, legally kidnap his children, poison them against him, and steal his money for the rest of his life as well as half of his belongings. Would you get married if these statistics were reversed?
You keep saying that men make the laws but I don’t see feminists or women bothering to stand up and complain about them (unless of course the law involves forcing women who duped guys into paying alimony for kids that aren’t theirs to pay the men back with some flimsy play at ITS FOR THE CHILDREN: ), if they are so unjust. Isn’t that just being a decent human? Not this BS “LOL not our fault” excuse. If that is acceptable then let me just say, LOL rape isn’t my fault, if women want to be raped less I guess they better take a martial arts class or something. In fact, why should I care about male privilege? It doesn’t hurt me at all. That sounds like your problem as well. Sounds like a load of BS from the other side too, doesn’t it?
The good old days never existed and women suffered pretty miserably in the old days. I actually do consider myself a feminist in the more classic sense, believe it or not. But the good came away with the bad. The risk of women in old world marriages was that divorce equaled shame, ridicule, and a lifetime alone. A bit extreme but we are at the other extreme now; all the danger is shifted onto mens shoulders. Maybe it is our fault but until laws change I see little reason to call this man’s views of marriage anything but genius.
I understand your views on marriage.
My biggest thing though: do you agree that all woment should be generalized and viewed as not worth anything other than for recreation. You can’t believe that?
You went on an awesome tirade here. Obviously your buttons are pushed on this topic. I am thinking back on that quote “Me thinks you protest too much.” Opinions are what they are. You have yours. I have mine. Everyone here has theirs. Free speech. But I am a bit confounded on your crosstalk.
Wow Ken. You really thought this out. And the world you paint is really sad. But unfortunately true in many cases. I am a woman who doesn’t want it all, exactly. It would be nice to have a home of dual income, I’m not going to lie. I would love a man to love and vice versa. I’m not looking to be completely taken care of.
I think the problem is many other woman have ruined it for those who are trying things a different way. And often those women who aren’t into the knight in shining armor bit, get brushed aside for the women who are all about that.
Leykis is bright. I’ll give him that. And he has experiences all his own. I just think it kind of awful to base a lot of his show bashing women. That said, I listen every night. He has his points and he has a minor female following because they usually are the ones who claim to “cut the crap.” But the women who call in on the show agreeing with the blatent bashing of the average women are kidding themselves. That is something about his show that sickens me.
As for Jo. Not every woman wants it both ways but let me ask you this: Don’t men want everything? Isn’t this a familar picture: Martha Stewart in the kitchen, a porn star in the bedroom, yadda yadda yadda. We are not alone in wanting everything. But not all women want EVERYTHING. Some, like me, just want a partnership. Someone to love and still work together to build a life. Not every chick wants to be thrown over a guy’s shoulder and taken off to the cave.
Sorry, Jenice; I didn’t mean to imply in any way that all women are that way. Women, like men run the whole gambit of preferences.
I don’t equate my statement about the women who want it all – or both ways – and your similar statement about men. I was speaking of women who speak out that they want to be EQUAL, but still act like they can live on a “pedestal” and be treated like that princess you mentioned. You seem to be talking of something else.
The women in my (poly) family are very much partners in that family. They also are Martha Stewart in the kitchen, porn stars in the bedroom, yadda yadda yadda – and the two people who manage most of the day-today necessities of keeping our household running while I’m out “making the rent.”
My contention is that there ARE both women and men out there who are of the mindset of wanting to find someone to marry and will be devoted to tending to the needs of their spouse. BUT, there are also both women and men who will not trust anyone else, including a spouse, and will always be focused on “How can I get the most pleasure for me with the least trouble?”
Everyone is more likely to be happy if they figure out what it is that they want (a spouse? a partner? a harem?) and they go out and get it. Personally, I think the marriage-and-parenting thing is the way to go, and that is the course I have voluntarily taken with eyes wide open. It is extremely important, when going this route, to choose the right person, and then to treat that person right. I’d love it if my kids also went this route, but if they decide not to, Leykis has some really good points about protecting yourself.
“BUT, there are also both women and men who will not trust anyone else, including a spouse, and will always be focused on “How can I get the most pleasure for me with the least trouble?”
Everyone is more likely to be happy if they figure out what it is that they want (a spouse? a partner? a harem?) and they go out and get it. “
It is easy to think ill of others, to blame them for one’s problems and to paint a simplistic picture with the pigments of stereotypes. That is no doubt Leykis’ style in this matter.
Yes, there are women who are out to get all they can for themselves and they are best avoided by men who want something truly good in life. There are also men who are trying to get all they can for themselves at the expense of others, They are best avoided by the women who want what is truly good in life.
Our time, like all times, does face problems with ethics, relationships and so forth. The situation is rather bad-but this is nothing new (read Plato to learn what Athens was like all those years ago). As in the past, it is up to us to make a better world by being better people. Or, as does happen, to make the world worse by living below what we can be as human beings.
As a friend of mine often points out, “the media” has a powerful role as a corrupting force. Shows glorify immoral behavior and encourage people to behave badly. While people are free to behave as they will, they are influenced by what others say-that is how human beings are. Unfortunately, positive messages are not as “sexy” or appealing as those sent by Tila Tequila and Leykis.
While I do agree that it is wise to be on watch for people who are exploitive, I certainly don’t think like Leykis. I certainly would be wary of his advice-getting dating advice from him would be like getting fidelity advice from Bill Clinton or seeking intellectual enlightenment from George W. Bush.
This seems to be a hot topic lately. I posted on it myself: How Single Men Make Women Settle
There’s been an explosion of misogynistic comments on the Web and in society at large. I understand that there are men out there who feel disenfranchised by the women’s lib movement, but when I read some of their disproportionate venom, I can’t help seeing it as the bitterness of oppressors who realize they’ve lost control of the oppressed. I’m not talking about guys complaining that there are too many women out there who are self-centered or heartless (this is true, just as there are men out there who are self-centered and heartless). I’m talking about men at sites like http://www.ihatewomen.com/ and http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/, who refer to women as subhumans who should be rounded up and killed. Granted, there are sites called “I Hate Men,” too, but a quick glance around these sites will reveal nothing more than complaints about men who can’t keep their pants on or have B.O., none of the blatant hate speech of the similar sites for men.
Leykis and others like him worry me because they lend legitimacy to that kind of dangerous prejudice. Men of this ilk represent the very worst of what their sex can be, just as they’ve probably encountered women who represented the worst of the female sex. But that doesn’t make it right to perpetuate stereotypes or hate speech.
It’s hard to know what the average man thinks. I think Ken makes an excellent point that we’re seeing a divergence in society at large, although I doubt there are as many women who prefer the hedonistic lifestyle as men. I’ve never met anyone who admitted to thinking like Leykis, but no one knows what people believe behind closed doors.
I can tell you where I stand on the subject, though: I believe that people, both men and women, should have the right to choose their lifestyle, whether that’s a traditional breadwinner/housewife model, a two-income model, a house husband model, or something totally different, and no one should be ridiculed for their particular choice. I’ll also add that while I’m sure there are women out there who want to live the good life with a sugar daddy, I personally have never met a woman who sat on her bum all day and didn’t either have employment outside the home or devote herself to homemaking and parenting full-time.
I’m heading over to your site now to read this post…thanks Elsie for shedding more light.
all i gotta say is DTB
All people are equal. Men and women are not based on emotional and physical needs.
Leykis is a hack and his show is purely for ratings. All the men I know feel sorry for the Leykis-bots because they know they aren’t getting laid.
Leykis is a tool to draw in controversy and listeners. He is probably funded by the Rothchilds and is planting emotional chips into his listeners until they are complete jellyfish who will do anything out of desperation.
Like Leykis says himself take his info as a grain of salt — not as a way of life or religion so to speak.
Great post!
What’s insidious about the this type of complaint is that it refuses to own that the root of the problem is “Men”, not women. It wasn’t women who made these laws, it was men, and it is still mostly men and the beliefs of a patriarchal society who are causing the continued disparities.
It’s not that the concerns aren’t legitimate, it’s that it takes a certain mindset to blame them on people who aren’t in charge of creating or fixing them. That’s why it ends up being NOT feminist, but misogynistic. Nobody should be bashing the people with the least power while playing the victim themselves, when they should know darn well that they could be advocating for change within their own ranks.
Thanks Jordan. “Emotional chips?” That’s a funny thought but you know, the way some of those guys call in, it really may not be too off base!
He readily admitted that if divorce laws weren’t so skewed (towards women), he would change his beliefs towards marriage. Everything else he says is pretty much feminist to the Xth degree. Paying for your own meals, living independently, etc isn’t all that bad. The fact that guys usually get the raw end of the deal is where all his tension comes from.
Men are a bunch of apes who need an alpha male to vindicate their base instincts. Tom has taken on that mantle, and the men of America are willing to follow.
The reason that divorce laws ARE skewed towards women is BECAUSE of these same male attitudes toward women.
Someone needs to remind Tom and his listener’s that women did not create the judicial system in this country.
If you are male and are so insecure with yourselves that you need to behave in the manner that Tom suggests, then I guess that’s a good thing, but switch to men because you are obviously not manly enough to be with women.
And women are a bunch of conniving, money stealing harlots. How about dem generalizations, eh? I always love the women who get angry at this stuff It shows you that he is on the right path. If only you girls were brave enough to admit the only reason you hate his anti-marriage manifesto is because it is thwarting your little game of which only you benefit (fact) but let’s not expect miracles.
There is virtually no benefit to marriage for a man. None. I challenge you to find one and present it to me. Until then you are just whistling Dixie, sweetheart.
I believe that Leykis’ words are not persuasive for most men, but rather a mirror image of themselves. The truth is, the younger generation, which falls within Leykis’ 18-45 target demographic have grown up with several differences than prior generations. A large percentage of youth has come from broken homes, and a lot of the ones that haven’t have grown up hearing the open regrets of their parents. Some of those regrets can be equated to a general regret of marriage and ‘settling down’. As a child of the 80′s, I am no stranger to either a broken home, nor the open regret of my father, and later, stepfather of marriage. The truth of the matter is that we also have dealt with the feminist revolution and a lot of women(my mother included) feel entitled to both freedom to do whatever they please, as well as the benefits and securities of being treated legally as the responsibility of the men they marry. I remember watching my mother openly cursing out my father for more money after their divorce, and yet in retrospect, the money that was sent(well over 2k a month) did nothing to either help me at the time, or help me with college. All of the money received was used to fuel her own greedy desires. The sad part is, that I have a stepfather who can corroborate all of it, and I have seen the check stubs that were cashed every month(my father has had the same bank for 20 years). I think that there are many more men in a similar situation that have rapidly realized that good women are no longer the majority, but rather the exception. Combine that with men who have grown up in a post-sexual revolution United States, and there are fewer reasons to start off with for a man to marry. We live in a world that is faster than ever, with the internet bringing information from around the world and putting it at our finger tips. We no longer crave the security that a wife provides, because we can get the same thing(if necessary) from a girlfriend, or booty call, without any of the inherent risks of signing a marriage contract. There is simply little incentive outside of cultural or religious pressures for young men to get married. The single life plays into men’s social and sexual tendencies as well, as males have always been satisfied as rogues in society, perfectly satisfied with mistresses and extra-marital affairs for centuries. In essence, I don’t think that Tom Leykis is an influence on modern male sociology as much as he is an open reflection of it. I personally listen to Leykis, yet, I am the master of my own destiny, and while I find his ‘rules’ intriguing, I am in a serious relationship, without any plans of marriage in the future, and we are both fine with our decisions. Also, my personal preference is to not have children, of course, this may change in the future, but as for now, it is my personal choice, not that of Tom Leykis, we just happen to agree in several key areas, and I believe that this is similar to that of the other listeners he reaches.
Do you know why Tom Leykis perturbs you? It is because he holds a mirror to women like you. His points are clear. He is America’s original feminist. Equal means equal. When there is danger of alimony, why get married? So remove alimony laws, stop nagging, bitching, harassing and complaining about men and all will be good. But behaving like a ball busting bitch will make you only desirable to pussy whipped men, not a man with a backbone like Tom. He is the greatest man this country has ever produced. He should have been the next president of US.
Boy. Isn’t it easy just to attack me when you don’t even know a thing about me? If you follow a lot of what I say, though, yes, I am a chick, but I am completely independent. Bought my own house and never expect a man to take care of me. In fact I am annoyed with being tied down and having to answer to anyone. PackYourBags, you don’t even have the nerve to use a real name or URL. But your opinions are your own. You can have them and I could care less. I happen to listen to Tom everyday and though I don’t really agree all of the time, he has some pretty valid points. My thing is, can’t he make them without calling women sluts and hos? Without basically saying women are just to be fucked and nothing more?
And I completely respect Shaun’s outlook. Why couldn’t YOU have found that kind of intelligence to make your point? I am still laughing, really, at what you have said. Clearly you don’t read my blog! But whatever.
While I don’t agree with Tom’s darwinist theory of survival of the fittest and being rude to women he has excellent points. Why get married when the courts are stacked against men and the man will have to pay tribute in the form of alimony? Why get married when
divorce is so financially crippling to a man? If men have to pay alimony then they should get sex, cooking, and cleaning in return. Why be chivalrous when we get nothing in return? Why have children when there is only a 14% of men winning custody in this country and not? Why have a woman move in with you when she can take over your apartment unfairly through the courts? Why get involved with a woman when they put you through drama? When I was in my early 20′s I really wanted to find that special soul mate to settle down and have children. My views have changed after seeing the misandry, narcissism, and promiscuity in the opposite sex. I prefer being single. I just got my master’s and am about to get my doctorate. Feminism gives special privileges to women at the expense of men. I’m a good looking, articulate, well-educated guy and I am boycotting women and I encourage all my friends to do the same. They are listening to me. Tom Leykis is a voice women ignore at their peril. Fix the laws and change the culture or expect to grow old with cats.
I’m boycotting men. We have a lot in common then seeing how I tell MY friends the same. I’m learning from every relationship — not to bother with men. Doesn’t mean I’m a man-hating woman. I love men, from afar at this point. They disappoint you every time. In my case.
Why the hell do guys think they aren’t as much as a handful as women? I just don’t get it. Too bad the only voice we have is Oprah (gag). Geez. And I think as far as laws are concerned, old ass men keep those laws in play. Why are women to blame for all of those stupid laws? I don’t agree with many of them myself. But does that mean I should be seen as less than nothing? Listening to Leykis just makes women aware of what men are thinking these days. As for advice, Leykis isn’t really for women, if you want to split hairs, John. So what women learn is that they either spread ‘em, expect to get an abortion if they get pregnant, and expect to get dumped. Isn’t that the sum of his advice for me? While I find him intelligent and amusing, he’s not pro-women. What advice does he have for me? Someone please answer this question. I would love to know.
And cats don’t ask for much. Seems an easier lifestyle to be a cat lady. I’m sure there will be an influx of cat ladies at this rate. And a lot of men with STDs from the whores they prefer to screw instead of having a real relationship. What a lovely world that would be.
That last post of yours was mean Jenice, I’ll try not to provoke you further. If women saw problem w/ the laws and always have then why did it take men getting mad about it before women even began discussing it? I think because they all wanted to have The Option available to make babies and discard fathers. Women don’t seem upset about these biased Family Court laws at all, though they have had a considerable about of time to complain about them they instead wasted their energies putting-down men. That’s backfiring, BIG TIME, Leykis is the tip of the iceberg.
Guys already know we’re are a handful. We HEAR about all day from the likes of Day-Time TV if we’re lucky enough to have a day off from work. I’m sorry but the perception of men is – Women didn’t give a DAMN that men were being driven out of their children’s lives while being labeled Dead Beat Dads.
“old ass men keep those laws in play” Exactly, you’ve been used to break down the strongest competition a Socialist government ever has. The Nuclear Family. Marriage hasn’t been the same since 1970 and Gloria Steinem.
After ALL these yrs of hearing, “men aint this, men aint that” and rarely seeing it challenged I am glad that someone cares enough to speak up for us for a change.
Just didn’t expect it to be a man.
This is NONSENSE. When these laws were created, women COULD NOT “DISPOSE OF FATHERS” as they had no other source of income and would be social outcasts and still mostly are today. MEN ALSO WERE NOT RAISING CHILDREN AND WERE FREQUENTLY NOT TAUGHT THE SKILLS TO.
think before you write. do some research if necessary. Feelings are not facts.
…Dang it, the one thing I wanted to respond to and I totally forgot it.:
“I’m boycotting men. We have a lot in common then seeing how I tell MY friends the same. I’m learning from every relationship — not to bother with men.”
-Thats exactly how men have BEEN treated these last 40 yrs. that doesn’t work anymore precisely because its more of the same. You might want to lean in the OTHER direction.
You make a good point soul, but do understand I wasn’t always this way. I gave every man the benefit of the doubt. But maybe I’m just the type of woman who is better off alone and I’m OK with that. Sometimes it can get old but so can a relationship. I don’t hate men. Just don’t want the hassle anymore.
And you say what I said was mean, try looking at the previous comments and others on this blog from Leykis listeners who support the “I HATE WOMEN” argument. Although can’t say it’s an argument but a twisted state of mind. That said, I’ve yet to find a man, minus an already married one, that I want to bother putting myself out there for. Again: I DON’T HATE MEN. I just think they are best as friends. I mean, don’t you agree when it comes to women? Or are you saying we should just “all get along?” By the way, I like seeing a black male perspective around here.
Oh. And I don’t mess with married men. But I DO find that I’m a source they like to VENT to.
And this might be a good time that my reference to Oprah, wasn’t in her favor. I’m not a fan of that show. And a good time to mention that sarcasm happens to be in play in many of my comments…I apologize for nothing but don’t want to be misunderstood.
“By the way, I like seeing a black male perspective around here.”
Hadn’t realized it. Then your familiar with the “Strong, Independent” tirades which have been polluting black relationships along with a plethora of other “I don’t need no man” mantras. the problem is is when good women dont say anything about the bad. Instead it seems they SAVE that fire for Men. I’m a chivalrous guy, as most of his listeners were but after the level of abuse I’ve been subjected to via women and no, not in relationships, just the general culture, I’ve had enough.
No women defends us. There definitely hasn’t been a BW. That WEARS on you Jenice. Where are the women? Men defend women and will chastise men all the time. Where are the women chastising their own? Men have changed ALOT for women and they get NO CREDIT. Each accomplishment simply seems to get checked off of a list for women and the move on to SHAME us on another topic. Its the feminist tactic of getting things done. Unfortunately, I don’t understand why women would resort to such foul tactic that hinges around love. Thats a hell of a tactic and I think they gambled wrong
I love women, especially sistas! but enough is enough. Where is the Love?My chivalry has crumbled. Who can expect less. Men are noble. They just took the abuse. But eventually, eventually, eventually, you have angry men who could care less about their tone since women NEVER checked theirs.
I’m not married, no kids and I’ll change neither until the EXTREMELY biased family laws change and I see women fighting for that right along w/ men.
I’ll visit more often.
And the thing with feminists is that they just expect to be treated like human beings, and love and not based on gender. chivalry was createed as a minute reminder of the power imbalance between men and women, and that’s pretty much how it still functions today. That kind of thing can be particularly irritating when you’re trying to build an equal relationship on trust that you won’t be abused or taken for granted.
That might be where you’re getting confused and frustrated. Feminists don’t like or especially appreciate chivalry, because doing things FOR EACH OTHER is supposed to be “how we treat each other because we’re human beings and we’re decent in and of ourselves” not, “accept my XYZ because you’re a woman and I’m your man and I’ll do and feel a certain way in exchange and stop when you don’t.” Women who expect but don’t appreciate chivalry are just jerks, not feminists. so please stop calling them that.
I personally have had issues with men accepting “i just like you” and “here are my needs” in lieu of whatever gender-based fantasy they’re trying to live out. Some women too. If chivalry is dead–and chivalry is where the custody laws and self-absorbed female behavior come from, not feminism– then thank god. Why don’t we just start being human considerate and polite? that’s gender neutral. and doesn’t take away power from anyone or make them feel less than because they’re not doing because of who they are and what the other person means to them, not for some sort of reward.
Soulcity,
Your chivalry? It’s dead, lying broken and bleeding on the ground at the feet of the feminists. It did not go gently into the night; it was murdered.
I admit Leykis advice isn’t for women. It’s for post-feminist men. Leykis’ advice is based on the wrong assumption that all women are horrible human beings. It is based on the true assumption that the law is anti-male and marriage. Tom Leykis philosophy is,”she’s going to screw you over anyways, so screw her over first.” I don’t have it in my heart to really hurt anyone so I’m really not into chasing tail and being unkind to others. However, Tom’s advice I have taken to heart and when I see women I think “danger”. Relationships are more effort and hardship then they are worth. I consider a relationship a job that a person has to work at. It is an investment of time and energy. However, the rate of return seems very low and the risks seem very high. I guess Jenice you can grow old with your cats and I will grow old with my dogs.
It is amazing there are not any copycats of Leykis yet. I am sure there will be. Guys are faced with nonstop man hating daytime TV all day long, media is packed with man hating krap. Not to mention what they see all around them, the unfair family courts, guy after guy getting screwed over. Women bitch and complain about everything and guys tend to just endure but things are slowing changing, guys are just saying no to marriage now, and more young guys than ever are doing this. Guys wanting a family seek out foreign women now more than ever, both American and foreign born guys know that Americanized women are of much lower quality when it comes to wife material. It is no guarantee but it helps increase your odds. Feminism has been a disaster for children. Leykis point out all the risk to men that having a family entails. And how women have no obligation to hold up there end of the bargain. I agree with him that marriage is a very bad idea for men, it virtually guarantees a man will get screwed over.
Interesting comments here. While I don’t agree with the misogynistic verbiage in Tom’s diatribes about women, he does utter some undeniable truths about an unfortunate sect of women (and men) who exist out there. If there was an underwriter for marriage out there, he would undoubtedly evaluate the risks and liabilities and reject the marriage proposition. Why gamble with your life savings when the risks are so high?
being a woman in this world isnt easy. i used to blame that on men being pigs but the fact is its women. women think they can do and say anything they want and if anyone has anything to say about it there being suppressed. give me a break. most women act like money grubbing whores. look at the women that young girls have as role models. men didnt do that, women did. women are too concerned with selfish pleasures that they forget the impact they they have on the world. i see teenagers walking down the street in shorts that look like underwear and think “where is her mother”. well, her mother is the woman beside her wearing the same matching shorts. my point is, if you see a billboard advertising a church with pictures of naked women on it youre not going to take it seriously. so why would a man think that a woman dressed like a whore is anything he should take seriously. i am disgusted with women. they cant stick together on anything unless its male bashing. so i say “sleep in the bed you made for yourself” or maybe, grow up and start acting like a lady instead of just another woman.
I’m not from America ,but i have to tell you Tom Leykis is 100% right. Women ,with very few exception think all the same,as he describe them.He talks from LA but i recognise the women wich he is talking about here in my town exactly like that.Most of the “ladies” want to make money “selling” themselves,almost all of them think that because they have vaginas their time and sexuality has value and ours has not,they always fall for the cheap trick of a “bad boy” who treat them like crap and they like it ,etc.
So Leykis is a very fine observer of women’s psihology,the words that he uses are not the smoothest but i think he uses that kind of language to make himself accepted by large numbers of people.
Yeah Tom Leykis is pretty accurate about women. He’s a keen observer and has had many experiences. He’s also accurate about men too. He knows how men think and what they want and need. If women are in denial about that it’s probably because the men they’ve been with or know won’t admit it out loud. This isn’t to say that men are pigs and women are all looking to be taken care of and adored. Tom Leykis speaks volumes to modern day relationships of today and why they’re not working.