When grandma says you need a husband…

It happened. It finally happened and I could just die. My own grandmother, bless her, teasingly asked me on Christmas, “Have you found a husband yet.” Though I laughed, I was also in shock! She usually doesn’t say such things. But she is nearly 100. She can say whatever she wants! She also said she was going to go to the wedding if I found a husband. To that I caught myself saying and quickly back-peddling, “I better hurry then!”

My Granny Rose is a trip. I can’t even get mad at her for it. I just laughed, vented to my mother, laughed some more and then quickly joined eharmony. Yes. I have succumbed. But the communication is free right now so I haven’t completely committed financially yet. I say yet but I’m not so sure that’s the site to use anyway. I’ve heard more people say Match.com but I’ve had poopy results with it as well. Maybe I just need to start putting my mindset on being open to relationships again. Officially.

I’m happy that I’ve gained confidence in being a single chick with a career. But come 2008, I’m not really sure if that’s me anymore. When is just you no longer enough?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Or whatever other holidays you celebrate at the moment. I have had my first awkward holiday party moment. I’m sitting next to the family dog at the company Christmas party. The jokester of the office says, “Look, you found a date!”

HO. HO. HO.

Content vs. happy

Let’s break down the definitions:

Content means:

satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.

Happy means:

1. delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing: to be happy to see a person.
2. characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, or joy: a happy mood; a happy frame of mind.

These two words don’t mean the same thing, exactly. You don’t have to be happy to reach contentment. As I’ve stated early in this blog, I reached a moment of contentment  about being a single chick. I think at that time I really believed that I didn’t need or want anything more when it came to my status. I don’t think I’m the stereotypical scenario of a sad, single woman. I know what I’ve got going for me but let’s face it. It’s the damn holidays. ‘Tis the season of diamond commercials and overtly romantic ideas.

You already know I’m not particularly happy  about not being in a relationship with someone. But what I’ve never said is that I’m generally miserable about the whole thing. A bit miffed? Yes. And more miffed by the second.

Yet another person at work just got engaged. You can only be strong for so long. I guess you don’t really start loathing your not being attached until others around you start getting married — and they are younger than you. Really starts putting things in perspective. You start sniffing yourself to see if you smell…

Single is definitely the new relationship…

I’ll have to look in the mirror and ask that smug face, “What are you going to do about it?”

Mischief: The answer to the sweet life?

Yes. I am dup-posting again. (pretty sure that isn’t a word but if you start using it, give me street cred.) I just uploaded this post on my other blog but it seemed only right to share it on this blog dedicated to single speech…

While scrummaging around in my closet yesterday getting ready for the company Christmas party, I found an old fortune from who knows how long ago. It reads:

Be mischievous and you will not be lonesome…

Is it wrong that I took this to mean when it comes to men? I think I’ve been mischievous before and I appear to still be single. Let me check…

Yep. Single.

Anyway as I’ve said before the holidays are not the times many people are keeping up with blogging so I don’t know if anyone is even reading this, but I just had to write about this fortune. Not only is the scripture odd, but it’s not your typical fortune.

Most fortunes, even the really good ones you get from Pei Wei, always say something like being good to get what you want or paying it back or some other kind of funky foretelling. But to be mischievous? That sounds like an evil fortune. Did the devil spike my cookie? I wonder if I did something mischievous when I originally opened that cookie…

Does this mean I need to be all about sex and whatnot? Or does this mean that I’ve just got to kick up the sexy? I don’t know that I need to take cues from a fortune, of course. Especially one found on my floor that was possibly from two years ago that probably fell out of my jewelry box. But the coincidence that I found it just before that party is a strange one.

And I don’t know if I was fueled by it or not but I was up to a bit of mischief last night. The fortune was right. But I am pretty sure I was not alone with a potential suitor. (If that is even what “not being lonesome” meant in this particular case of odd fortune.) More like a fairly amusing night of my laughing too loud, sneaking an ill-gotten tequila shot with a coworker by the pool, talking inappropriately at a late dinner with other coworker friends and their boyfriends, and then a drive home — alone.

I have saved that fortune though. For a later date.

Preoccupation

I’m quite good at it.

I recently had a reception celebrating my first solo photography exhibit. The show is up until Jan. 8. Here are some pics from last weekend…

What is this? Could that be my father actually smiling? Yes it is. That’s also a sigh of relief that the show was up and didn’t have any major problems. I don’t have many photos here but it says enough I suppose. People came and went and I look as if I’m about to spew my wine out of my mouth in that last shot! I think my friend was saying something funny.

Please feel free to get some of your holiday items from my site. All of the purchasable prints can also be postcards and we all know you can’t have enough of those? If you do purchase stuff, you will keep that smile on my father’s face…

Because the holidays are fast approaching, I may not be on here much (just an FYI for all of my 10 readers!) but will pop in from time to time to update you on any holiday awkward singleness…

Love? In this kind of world?

My neck of the woods has had endless bizarre and grizzly stories these past weeks. But so has the rest of the nation.

I just had to share this screen grab. There were more local murder headlines but the grab

would have to be more huge to fit all of it here…

So this has nothing to do with my normal topics. Just that I don’t get people. Not to border on the line of sappy, but is all this violence around the holiday because people don’t have anyone to love. Or to love them?

Why are we so hung up about race?

 I posted the following on my other blog. But I wanted to share it with the readers here and see your thoughts. This is such an old topic–interracial dating. But it seems that the concerns are still very present in our society. My question to you is “Why?”

I gotta tell you; I’ve not had any slowing down of my old post about interracial dating. It still gets a fair amount of hits. This isn’t a call for all of you jokesters to start finding more weird search engine terms to get to this blog and then for me to write about them. But for some reason I get on a daily basis at least a dozen search engine terms looking for a variety of topics surrounding black women and white men dating. And lately Jewish men dating black women. WTF? Is this really THAT taboo still? I’ve dated the rainbow, as I’ve told you before, and I just never really saw dating a white man a big deal. Does the rest of society?

I will be honest though. I’m thinking the resurgence of this topic is because of the opposite happening: black men and white women. I’m not going to do some census search on this but I’m just thinking about my every day life in Texas. I see an increasing number of black men and white women coupled up. I don’t have a problem with this but I can only imagine that the two left are looking at each other, shrugging and saying, “Well, why don’t we?”

That said though, there is still so much hesitation. Believe me. White men dating black women isn’t very common here. Not sure about your area of the world. I really dig shows like “Private Practice” that treat interracial connections as something that isn’t a matter of discussion. The main discussion on that show is that the lead black female character has to choose between two men — a black one she was married to and a white one who loves her so much that is the only reason he works in the office. Race isn’t an issue. I can’t stand shows that make that the MAIN issue. The tired old story of “what will my parents think?” Aren’t we over this yet? I just don’t get it.

So for those of you searching to see if this is some “strange” concept, stop. Just go with it. Ask that black chick out. Ask that white dude out. Enjoy Hanukkah with that chocolate hottie…

WTF are you waiting for?

Never said I was happy about it…

There may be a misconception here at this blog. I don’t think that I’ve ever said I’m happy about being single. I’m not miserable either nor do I feel a need for someone in my life. A want? Of course and I’ve never said differently. I think if I’m going to have such an open blog about this topic, I need to make sure I get it all out there…

Some of you reading this may say it isn’t really a big deal, unaware that at times it can be a bit too much if you are a single person surrounded by those who aren’t and are curious as to why you are. This blog is to HELP me find the benefits of being single and to share them with others and have readers share them with me. Sometimes those benefits can get buried. They are often buried by society, your friends, sometimes your family and even at work.  Those times can make your situation feel really tough. That is why the topic of being alone should NEVER be swept under the rug because not everyone gets it.

I’m often reminded in my day to day life that my current predicament is what is right for me. And we are not always thrilled with our “right” decisions. If I could choose being single or being in a relationship with a man who is worth it, I’m not some dogged feminist to say “go away” to the guy. A relationship with someone would be more than great — IF it’s a relationship worth compromising and giving up a few things because as we know, you always have to give up a little in a coupled situation. If it isn’t, the connection with myself has to be strong so that dealing with being alone isn’t an agonizing process! It isn’t always easy. And I’ve never said I enjoy every minute of being unattached. However I know why I am and what good can come from it. As I know others do as well.

But happy about it? No. Accepting? Yes. And dealing with it as positively as I can from day to day — starting with my relationship with me.  It isn’t a prison sentence. But not really a walk in the park. It is all in how you see it and live with it.